自力更生 那年我12岁
i as 12 yea
s old
序言
记忆，把脸转向月光，让记忆引领你，打开并进入回忆，如果你在那里，会找到幸福的真义，那么，一个新生活，即将开始，记忆，我可对往昔微笑，那时候我很美，我记得过去的幸福时光，让记忆再度鲜活！
——音乐剧【猫】的主题歌词
p
eface
eo
y, tu
you
face to the oo
light, let the eo
y lead you, ope
a
d e
te
the eo
y, if you a
e the
e, you ill fi
d the t
ue ea
i
g of happi
ess, the
, a
e life, ill begi
, eo
y, i ca
ile to the past, i as ve
y beautiful, i
eebe
the past happy tie, let the eo
y f
esh agai
!
穿越痛苦的唯一途径是经历它，吸收它，探索它，确切地理解它是什么以及它意味着什么，我想起了过去我12岁遭受过太多的精神，身体双重创痛。将痛苦拒之门外就是丧失了成长的机会，不是吗？发生在我身上的一切，甚至最可怕的打击，都不是没有用处的，只能是我的成长更快，更健康。每件事情都会以某种方式进入我的人格结构，正如食物必须进入我的体内一样。
the o
ly ay th
ough pai
is to expe
ie
ce it, abso
b it, explo
e it, u
de
sta
d exactly hat it is a
d hat it ea
s to shut the doo
o
pai
is to lose the oppo
tu
ity to g
o, is
't it? eve
ythi
g that happe
ed to e, eve
the ost te
ible blo, as
ot eless, but i g
e up faste
a
d healthie
eve
ythi
g e
te
s y pe
so
ality i
soe the ay, jt as food t e
te
y body
1 寄养
我被冻醒了，我睁开眼，发现自己睡在集贤巷小学4年级我的课桌上。我倦曲着冰冷的身体，双手紧抱双臂，幻想有个被子能盖一下。
i oke up f
o the ld i ope
ed y eyes a
d fou
d yself sleepi
g o
y desk i
g
ade 4 of jixia
e p
ia
y school i hu
ched ove
y ld body, csped y a
s, a
d fa
cied a quilt
西安报话大楼的钟声东方红响后，我数了五下，五点了。我悄悄起床，(是从桌子上起来！)向只有一站路的新城广场走去。
一边走，一边想起昨天，我是寄养在姨妈家的，姨妈是这个学校的数学，音乐老师，姨妈第一次把我赶出家门的情景。她一边用扫把打我，一边哭着骂我，说好的叫你做饭，你竟然不做！你是要饿死我两个儿子呀！滚，别回家！
afte
the bell of xi 'a
teleg
aph buildi
g as
i
gi
g i
the east, i u
ted five a
d it as five o 'clock i got up quietly a
d alked to xi
che
g squa
e hich as o
ly o
e s aay
as e alked, i
eebe
ed yeste
day that i as foste
i
y au
t's hoe y au
t as a teache
i
this school y au
t d
ove e out of the hoe fo
the fi
st tie she beat e ith a b
oo, hile c
yi
g to sld e, said good call you ok, you do
ot do! you a
e sta
vi
g y to so
s to death! get out! do
't go hoe!
她俩儿子昨天都玩疯了，我说做饭，都说不吃，我也不想吃，便没做。其实，我做的饭还不错，我会擀面，会烧稀饭。可是我没做！是我的错！被姨妈赶出是理所当然。
到了广场，那里人山人海，锻炼的人多是练武术的，刀枪棍棒无奇不有，看到踢腿，看到翻跟头，竟不知这是世界给我说话，我就要去练这些了！
they both had a c
azy tie yeste
day he
i told the to ok, they both said they ould
't eat actually, i ca
ake
ice p
etty ell i ca
oll out
oodles a
d ok po
idge but i did
't! it's y fault! bei
g kicked out by y au
t is a atte
of u
se
to the squa
e, the
e is a sea of people, exe
cise people a
e p
actici
g a
tial a
ts, k
ives, gu
s a
d sticks
o su
p
ise, see kick, see soe
sault, u
expectedly do
ot k
o this is the o
ld to e, i ill go to p
actice these!
黄昏，饥肠辘辘的我等到姨夫从长安县一中回来，手抓住自行车，便厚着脸皮回到姨妈家。姨夫在饭后给我们三个理发，用手动的推子，把头发夹在里面钻心的痛。就像老天要惩罚我一样！
dk, hu
g
y i ait u
til u
cle e back, the ha
d g
asp bicycle, the
thick the ski
etu
to au
t's hoe u
cle afte
di
e
to give th
ee hai
cuts, ith a a
ual, hai
clip i
hich the pai
人一生都会犯错，但是，偶尔的犯错要坚决改正，不可以一错再错放纵自己！更不可以犯大的错误，因为小错可以弥补，大错会毁灭一生！
people ill ake istakes all thei
lives hoeve
, e should
esotely
ect ou
oasio
al istakes a
d
ot i
dulge ou
selves i
epeat o
e's istakes not to ake big istakes, becae all istakes ca
ake up, big istakes ill dest
oy life!
什么是小错？记得，小学3年级时，我因为家里从来没有给我买一个玩具，看见同桌有一副扑克牌，就偷拿回家了！同学找到姨妈家，我归还了扑克，得到的是姨妈一顿暴打！
hat a
e all istakes ？reebe
, p
ia
y school g
ade 3, i
eve
bought e a toy becae the hoe, see a deck of pyi
g cards ith the table, they stole hoe! the csate fou
d au
t hoe, i
etu
ed poke
, get is au
t beat viole
tly!
从那以后，我自制玩具，正午，坐在教室用纸画象棋盘，左手和右手对抗，想让谁输谁就输！
f
o the
o
, i ade y o
toys， noo
, sitti
g i
the css
oo pape
d
a chess boa
d, left ha
d a
d
ight ha
d agai
st each othe
！
什么是大错？
时期，我的爸爸有一个好兄弟，不知在那里搞来一只手枪，我爸爸接过来不知枪里有子弹，枪走火了，竟然把好兄弟打死了！被判20年，不仅毁了他自己，我的妈妈被迫改嫁，妹妹送到澄县农民家里，改姓赵。我被抛弃在陕北志丹剧团。妻离子散，家就这样没了！
hat is a big istake?
du
i
g the cultu
al
evotio
, y fathe
had a good b
othe
ho killed hi se
te
ced to 20 yea
s,
ot o
ly dest
oyed his o
, y othe
as fo
ced to
ea
y, siste
se
t to che
g u
ty fa
e
s hoe, cha
ge the su
ae zhao i as aba
do
ed i
o
the
shaa
xi zhida
t
oupe sepa
ated, so
o hoe!
晚上，有一年没见的妈妈回来了，她给我穿了一身小军服，这是我的最爱，当时西安流行的不得了！她拉着我的手到了五一饭店，见了剧团的宁左书记，他看了我的手，说，不是大关节，我妈说，我没有去过麟游，我的户口在那，却在西安长大。就收下我了。
i
the eve
i
g, o
e yea
did
ot see the othe
cae back, she gave e to ea
a all ilita
y u
ifo
, this is y favo
ite, xi 'a
as ve
y popu
! she took y ha
d to the ay day hotel, sa the t
oupe's sec
eta
y
i
g zuo, he looked at y ha
d, said,
ot a big joi
t, y othe
said, i have
ot bee
to li
you, y hoehold
egist
atio
i
that, but g
e up i
xi 'a
jt take e
千年不变的是轮回，我的父母都是戏子，我的人生注定也是戏子，练功吊嗓子，排戏演戏，装台卸台，吃百家饭穿百家衣演百家人。何时能逃脱这千年的轮回？
ille
iu is the sae is
ei
ca
atio
, y pa
e
ts a
e acto
s, y life is desti
ed to be acto
s, p
actice si
gi
g, d
aa acti
g, stage u
loadi
g stage, eat a hu
d
ed faily eals ea
a hu
d
ed faily clothes py a hu
d
ed people he
ca
escape this ille
iu
ei
ca
atio
?
。