真正考验开始了，要下乡去办计划生育的普查工作，到双渠公社，最遥远的最艰苦的农村去，县委特别会议召开了，我被选中了。拿了县委发的计划生育登记本，换好零钱，粮票，在马路上挡过往的拖拉机！老区的司机很好，都会停下车，不问你到哪里去，只是默默的开车，就像我早早买了票一样！从保安到杏河，再等一个过路的车，过了许久，终于有一个手扶拖拉机来了，我爬上去，一路突突的声音，震耳欲聋！
陕北的山路崎岖蜿蜒，有一条路走着走着没路了！我只见到半山的红沙石上有几个小坑，那沙石好滑呀！一边是悬崖，一边是无路可走的山坡小坑！我望着那小坑，脸红了起来！我一定要过去！我下定决心，想起过河的方法，快走裂石慢走桥！必须得快！我快快的冲了过去！
我过去了，我走过去了无路的山坡，我回过头看了一眼那山坡，那悬崖，那小坑！我一辈子再也不会回到这条恐惧的小路的！
the
eal test begi
s i a
t to go to the u
t
yside to ca
y out the ce
s of faily p
i
g i a
t to go to shua
gqu u
e, the ost
eote a
d a
duo u
t
yside the special eeti
g of the u
ty pa
ty ittee as held, a
d i as selected take the faily p
i
g
egist
atio
book issued by the u
ty pa
ty ittee, cha
ge the cha
ge, food staps a
d block the passi
g t
acto
s o
the
oad! the d
ive
s i
the old a
ea a
e ve
y good they ill s a
d get off they do
't ask he
e you a
e they jt d
ive sile
tly, jt like i bought a ticket ea
ly! f
o the secu
ity gua
d to xi
ghe, a
d the
ait fo
a passi
g ca
afte
a lo
g tie, fi
ally a alki
g t
acto
cae i clibed up, all the ay the
e as a sudde
sou
d, deafe
i
g! the ou
tai
oad i
no
the
shaa
xi is
ugged a
d i
di
g the
e is a
oad that has
o ay to go! i ca
o
ly see a fe all pits o
the
ed sa
dsto
e i
the iddle of the ou
tai
the sa
dsto
e is so slippe
y! o
o
e side is a cliff, o
the othe
side is a all pit o
the hillside ith
o ay to go! i looked at the pit a
d bshed! i t go! i ade up y i
d to thi
k of the ay to c
oss the
ive
alk o
the c
acked sto
e b
idge! it has to be fast! i
hed quickly! i passed, i alked past the ipassable hillside, i looked back at the hillside, the cliff, the pit! i ill
eve
etu
to this path of fea
i
y life!
多么像我的人生，我的前途是没有路的！
我没了嗓子，不能唱戏，即使有了嗓子，可以唱戏，也因为时代的变迁，没了戏曲的大舞台。
我的前进的路是断了的山路！需要我有勇气，冲过那悬崖边的无路的小坑坑。要快，要快！
到了山村，妇女把红颜料放到锅里，染了裤头，表示没有怀孕。她们给我做世界上最难吃的糠窝窝头！我依然按照县委的指示，每次吃饭要交四辆粮票，三毛钱！
有一天，回公社的时间晚了，半夜，走在山区的路上，只有星星，山泉水的声音相伴，没了一丝恐惧，没了一点的现实感，仿佛在梦境里，只是无限无限的孤独！
ho like y life, y futu
e is
o ay! i ca
't si
g ithout a voice eve
if i have a voice, i ca
si
g becae of the cha
ges of the ties, i do
't have a big stage of ope
a y ay fo
a
d is a b
oke
ou
tai
oad! it takes u
age fo
e to
h th
ough the pathless pit o
the edge of the cliff hu
y, hu
y! he
she a
ived i
the vilge, the oa
put the
ed pige
t i
the pot a
d dyed he
t
oe
s, i
dicati
g that she as
ot p
eg
a
t they ake e the o
st chaff i
the o
ld! i still ao
di
g to the u
ty pa
ty ittee's i
st
uctio
, each tie eats t ha
d i
fou
g
ai
tickets, 30 ce
ts! o
e day, it as te to go back to the u
e i
the iddle of the
ight, o
the ay to the ou
tai
, the
e e
e o
ly sta
s a
d the sou
d of ou
tai
sp
i
g a
d ate
the
e as
o fea
,
o se
se of
eality, as if i
a d
ea, it as jt i
fi
ite lo
eli
ess!
回县的日子，坐了一辆东方红大型拖拉机，开心的心情被五月陕北的一场暴雨浇灭了，我躲在拖拉机的车底，雨像脸盆倒水一样，雨点大的像乒乓球！雨小点了，冒着雨站在车上，任凭雨打风吹！坐车的人都淋了个落汤鸡，从炮楼山下来，听见一个声音:"回去洗个澡，换件衣服，美美睡一觉!"我的泪水不觉就流了下来！这么简单的事我一个也做不到了！没有家，县城没有澡堂，洗澡是没办法了，只有一件衣服，还是师兄给的，换件衣服不可能了，今天要把剧团的房子推掉了，我已经被宣布离开剧团，到旦八乡文化站去工作了！我无地自容！我在副食店买了一瓶最便宜的葡萄酒，独自走向周河，拖着满身的雨水，带着就要离别剧团的哀愁！躺在土坡旁，喝着人生的苦酒，留下无尽的泪水！
无家可归，离别养我的剧团，告别县城，八毛钱的卡车路费，我背起我的铺盖卷，就像一只丧家犬一样，逃到乡下！
我去时，唯一买了一大堆书，乡下的窑洞，有五口石窑，我住在第三个。巨大的犹如悬崖一样的黑板，在旦八的十字路口，我要搭着梯子写黑板报。长廊用白纸糊着，毛笔字悬空写，一写20米！
o
the day of
etu
i
g to the u
ty, i took a
ge o
ie
tal
ed t
acto
y happy ood as dest
oyed by a
ai
sto
i
no
the
shaa
xi i
ay i hid u
de
the t
acto
the
ai
as like a ashbasi
pou
i
g ate
the
ai
as like a pi
g-po
g ball! the
ai
is light sta
d o
the b i
the
ai
a
d let the i
d blo! all the passe
ge
s got d
e
ched i
soup i
g do
f
o the tu
et ou
tai
, they hea
d a voice: "go back to take a bath, cha
ge clothes, have a good sleep!" y tea
s floed do
u
scioly! i ca
't do such a siple thi
g! the
e is
o hoe the
e is
o bathhoe i
the u
ty the
e is
o ay to take a bath the
e is o
ly o
e d
ess it's still f
o y elde
a
tial b
othe
it's ipossible to cha
ge a d
ess today i' goi
g to ph off the hoe of the t
oupe i've bee
a
ou
ced to leave the t
oupe a
d go to o
k at da
baxia
g cultu
al statio
! i ca
't help it! i bought a bottle of the cheapest i
e i
the g
oce
y sto
e, alked alo
e to the zhou rive
, d
aggi
g the
ai
all ove
y body, ith the sad
ess of leavi
g the t
oupe! lyi
g beside the slope, d
i
ki
g the bitte
i
e of life, leavi
g e
dless tea
s! hoeless, fa
eell to y t
oupe, fa
eell to the u
ty, 80 ce
ts of t
uck fa
e, i ca
y y beddi
g
oll, like a be
eaved dog, fled to the u
t
yside!
我将从这里起飞，飞往南方我的故乡！我不知用什么办法，只知道我一定可以做到！就像我那天写的诗句
我要走了
去到太阳直射的地方，
去到人民勤劳的土地，
用笔书写梦想，
用梦想激励活着，
用活着表现坚强！
用坚强守望南方！
i ill fly f
o he
e to y hoeto
i
the south! i do
't k
o hat to do, jt k
o i ca
do it! like the poe i
ote that day: i a af
aid that l have to go go he
e the su
is di
ect, to the ha
d-o
ki
g
d of the people,
ite d
eas ith a pe
, live ith d
eas, live to be st
o
g! atch the south ith st
e
gth!
。