在一个遥远的小镇上，有一个出了名的盗贼，人送外号克利克①，并且认为永远也不会有人抓到他。这个盗贼很想结识另一个与他同样出名的外号叫克罗克的盗贼，想与他联手作案。一天，克利克在一家酒馆吃饭，同桌坐着一位陌生人。克利克要看时间的时候才发现怀表已经不翼而飞了。克利克想：要是这人能不被我察觉而偷走我的表，那他一定就是克罗克。他回手就偷来了那个人的钱包。陌生人要付帐的时候发现自己的钱包也没了，便对同桌的人说：“看来你就是克利克了。”
另一个答道：“那你一定就是克罗克喽。”
“对。”
“好极了，我们合伙吧。”就这样两个盗贼联起手来。
两个人进城，来到了由侍卫严密把守的国王宝库。他们挖了一条通向宝库的地道，盗走了宝库里的一些东西。国王眼看着宝库被盗，却找不到一点盗贼的线索，就去找一位关押在狱的盗贼，人称灰浆盆，国王对他说：“你要是能告诉我偷宝库的人是谁，我就放了你，还封你为侯爵。”
灰浆盆答道：“这一定是克利克和克罗克联手干的，他们是两个最棒的盗贼。不过，我有办法抓住他们。您下令把肉价抬高到每磅一百里拉，谁还去买肉，谁就一定是盗贼。”
国王依计把肉价抬到一百里拉一磅，没有人再去买肉了。好不容易来人报告说有一个修道士到一家肉铺买过肉。灰浆盆说：“这一定是克利克或克罗克化装的。我也化装成一个乞丐，挨家挨户去乞讨，谁给我肉吃，我就在他家的门上划一个红色标记，这样侍卫就能抓到他。”
但是当他在克利克家门上划上红色标记时，克利克发觉了。克利克给城里所有人家的门上都划上了同样的标记，结果灰浆盆一无所获。
灰浆盆又向国王献计说：“我不是跟您说过他们是两个很狡猾的人吗？但是，有人比他们更狡猾。您这么办：让人在宝库台阶的下面放上一桶滚烫的松树油，进去偷东西的人就会掉下去，我们便可以坐等收尸了。”
克利克和克罗克不久就把偷来的钱用光了，只好再去宝库偷钱。克罗克摸黑走在前面，结果掉进了桶里。克利克看到朋友掉进松油桶死了，就想把尸体捞出来带走，但怎么也捞不出来。他只好砍下克罗克的脑袋，带走了。
第二天，国王到了现场，说：“这次抓到了，这次抓到了！”可是，只找到一具无头尸，没法辨认身分，也无法断定谁是同谋。
灰浆盆又说：“我还有一计。你让人用两匹马拖着这具尸体在全城示众，听到哪里有哭声，就一定是盗贼的家。”
真的，克罗克的妻子从窗户看到丈夫的尸体被拖着游街，就又哭又嚎起来。克利克也在那里，他立即意识到这样会使自己暴露。于是，他开始摔盘子，砸碗，并且打克罗克的妻子。正在这时，侍卫们循着哭声进来了，看到的却是一个妇人打碎了盘、碗，而男人给了她几个耳光，妇人就哭了起来。
国王无计可施，便让人在全城贴出告示说，谁有本事偷走他床上的床单，他就原谅他的偷盗之罪。克利克听到消息就来了，说自己有本事做到。
晚上国王脱衣上了床，手里拿着一杆火枪等着盗贼。克利克从掘墓人那里要来一具尸体，给他穿上自己的衣服，带到王宫的屋顶。等到半夜，克利克用绳子把尸体吊在国王寝室的窗户前。国王以为这就是克利克，朝他开了一枪，又看见他带着绳子摔了下去。国王跑下去看看人是不是死了。可就在同时，克利克从屋顶下到国王的寝室，偷走了国王的床单。克利克被国王赦免了，而且因为他已经无所不能偷了，国王就把自己的女儿嫁给了他。
（蒙费拉托地区）
①这篇故事中的两个盗贼的外号“克利克”与“克罗克”都是形容断裂、破碎的象声词。
Crack and Crook
In a distant town there was a famous thief known as Crack, whom nobody had ever been able to catch. The main ambition of this Crack was to meet Crook, another notorious thief, and form a partnership with him. One day as Crack was eating lunch at the tavern across the table from a stranger, he went to look at his watch and found it missing. The only person in this world who could have taken it without my knowledge, he thought, is Crook. So what did Crack do but turn right around and steal Crooks purse. When the stranger got ready to pay for his lunch, he found his purse gone and said to his table companion, "Well, well, you must be Crack."
"And you must be Crook."
"Right."
"Fine, well work together."
They went to the city and made for the kings treasury, which was completely surrounded by guards. The thieves therefore dug an underground tunnel into the treasury and stole everything. Surveying his loss, the king had no idea how he might catch the robbers. He went to a man named Snare, who had been put in prison for stealing, and said, "If you can tell me who committed this robbery, Ill set you free and make you a marquis."
Snare replied, "It can be none other than Crack or Crook, or both of them together, since they are the most notorious thieves alive. But Ill tell you how you can catch them. Have the price of meat raised to one hundred dollars a pound. The person who pays that much for it will be your thief."
The king had the price of meat raised to one hundred dollars a pound, and everybody stopped buying meat. Finally it was reported that a friar had gone to a certain butcher and bought meat. Snare said, "That had to be Crack or Crook in disguise. Ill now disguise myself and go around to the houses begging. If anybody gives me meat, Ill make a red mark on the front door, and your guards can go and arrest the thieves."
But when he made a red mark on Cracks house, the thief saw it and went and marked all the other doors in the city with red, so there was no telling in the end where Crack and Crook lived.
Snare said to the king, "Didnt I tell you they were foxy? But theres someone else foxier than they are. Heres the next thing to do: put a tub of boiling pitch at the bottom of the treasury steps. Whoever goes down to steal will fall right into it, and his dead body will give him away."
Crack and Crook had run out of money in the meantime and decided to go back to the treasury for more. Crook went in first, but it was dark, and he fell into the tub. Crack came along and tried to pull his friends body out of the pitch, but it stuck fast in the tub. He then cut off the head and carried it away.
The next day the king went to see if he had caught the thief. "This time we got him! We got him!" But the corpse had no head, so they were none the wiser about the thief or any accomplices he might have had.
Snare said, "Theres one more thing we can do: have the dead man dragged through the city by two horses. The house where you hear someone weeping has to be the thiefs house."
In effect, when Crooks wife looked out the window and saw her husbands body being dragged through the street, she began screaming and crying. But Crack was there and knew right away that would be their undoing. He therefore started smashing dishes right and left and thrashing the poor woman at the same time. Attracted by all that screaming, the guards came in and found a man beating his wife for breaking up all the dishes in the house.
The king then had a decree posted on every street corner that he would pardon the thief who had robbed him, if the thief now managed to steal the sheets out from under him at night. Crack came forward and said he could do it.
That night the king undressed and went to bed with his gun to wait for the thief. Crack got a dead body from a gravedigger, dressed it in his own clothes, and carried it to the roof of the royal palace. At midnight the cadaver, held by a rope, was dangling before the kings windows. Thinking it was Crack, the king fired one shot and watched him fall, cord and all. He ran downstairs to see if he was dead. While the king was gone, Crack slipped into his room and stole the sheets. He was therefore pardoned, and so that he wouldnt have to steal any longer, the king married his daughter to him.
(Monferrato)
NOTES:
"Crack and Crook" (Cric e Croc) from Comparetti, 13, Monferrato, Piedmont.
This is one of the oldest and most famous tales, which has occupied the attention of scholars for generations. The Piedmontese version I followed is faithful to the oldest tradition and includes the curious character-names and a brisk dose of rustic cunning. Herodotus (Histories) tells in detail about Egyptian King Rhampsinituss treasure, chief source of the vast narrative tradition concerning wily robbers put to the test by a ruler. The beheading of a cadaver so it will not be recognized is also encountered in Pausanias, who presents the myth of Trophonius and Agamedes (Description of Greece, IX, 372). Either through the Greeks or through oriental tradition the tale entered medieval literature, in the various translations of the Book of the Seven Sages and other Italian, English, and German texts. Literary versions by Italian Renaissance story writers are numerous.
Copyright: Italian Folktales Selected and Retold by Italo Calvino,
translated by George Martin,
Pantheon Books, New York 1980