如果地球上的其他人都消失了，你会穿什么？你将如何生活？什么对你很重要，什么会变得不重要？认真想象一下。
这将给你带来一些见解，让你认清真正为自己购买的物品，以及你可能会购买什么来展示你的地位。
我向几个朋友提问。几乎所有人都说他们会纯粹为了舒适而穿衣，“有点儿像我在休产假”。一些人表示他们会寻求有质量的剪裁和美丽的工艺，并继续穿高跟鞋来振奋精神；而另一些人则说他们什么也不穿。人们为了社会上的别人或者社会地位而购买物品不是坏事（我不可能在世界末日时穿上我的婚纱），但值得一提的是，购买和穿着某些物品的原因对你来说都是外因，如果你愿意的话，你可以选择与之抗争。
*你怎么知道自己为地位而购物
你为自己购买的一些产品给你带来了快乐，比如一双舒适的拖鞋、一个舒适的床垫，或者一本你喜爱的书。但是我相信，有一些产品是我们为其他人购买的，比如一双名牌高跟鞋或者一块闪闪发光的手表。
“什么？它们也是我给自己买的！”我听到你大叫。我们如何判断我们是为自己还是为地位而购买？尝试在下面进行思维练习。
*买以防羞
我们之所以大量地为了地位而购买，是因为我们不想感到羞愧、落后，或者被别人羞辱。虽然羞辱很可怕，但它对早期人类来说是有用的。它可以防止反社会行为，比如偷窃、打斗或不使用马桶刷，这一点我完全赞成。因此，羞耻有其合理性。但对于一些物品，如果我们想自由地做出自己的购买选择，我们不应该感到羞愧。
拒绝羞耻
列一个你在拒绝购买它们时感到羞愧的物品清单。以下是我的清单，供你参考。“我拒绝为……感到羞耻。”
没有最新款的小玩意儿。
拥有我喜欢而别人却不喜欢的物品。
穿同样的衣服200次。
与其他父母相比，给予我的孩子们更少的物质（如果我有幸有一个家庭的话）。
把这些承诺大声告诉你自己（如果你觉得自己需要一个证人，可以像我一样，告诉你的猫）。记住这些都是有意识的选择，你有很好的理由来做出这些选择。羞耻出于本能，所以你需要一种策略，当它出现时就准备好处理它。
为了巩固这个想法，你甚至应该把你的“羞耻祷文”变成“骄傲祷文”，所以我的祷文变成了“我为……感到骄傲”。
我会一直使用某物，否则就扔掉它。
我不必寻求别人的赞同。
我对自己穿的衣服很满意。
我会教我的孩子们珍惜他们所拥有的东西。
*购买不来的地位和价值
地位是如此强大，以至于我们的社会地位越高，寿命就越长，无论我们的实际收入如何。但接下来这一点也很重要。寿命专家迈克尔·马默特教授发现，重要的是我们如何看待自己的地位，而不是别人如何看待我们。如果我们觉得自己有价值，值得尊敬，和其他人一样优秀，我们就会和碧昂斯做得一样好。 (104) 我们不能控制他人，不能强迫他们给我们更高的地位，但是我们可以控制我们对自己的感觉。我们可以坐在沙发上反复说“我是值得的”，这样可能会增强我们的自我价值，但在我们的潜意识里，通过在别人的生活中做一个积极的存在来获得我们的地位更具说服力。
我们觉得有价值的人，是那些带给我们欢乐、帮助、建议、美丽、观点、冒险、支持、有趣的信息、乐趣和鼓励的人。让人开心的是，我们都有能力为他人做这些事，作为回报，他人也会认为我们有价值。
如何让同“部落”的人更尊重你
与我们最喜欢的被动消遣相比，主动请别人尊重你可能需要更多的能量。但在我所做的所有研究中，有一点已经很明确，那就是给予者是最幸福的。
●列出你“部落”里的人。提示：你期待在自己葬礼上出现的人。
●列出一系列你可以对这些人产生积极影响的方法，而不必忽视自己或逛商店。你如何增加快乐、帮助、建议、美丽、想法、冒险、支持、有趣的信息、乐趣和鼓励？用点儿想象力。你能从一个有趣的新家庭传统开始吗？发明一种愚蠢的秘密握手方式？找时间定期给亲戚打电话？帮助一个朋友清理房子？ 给你的爱人带来惊喜？承担某事的责任。花些时间去找出人们希望发生的事情，并表现出你永远支持他们。
无论我们处于生活的哪个阶段，无论在什么时候，我们都能对他人的生活产生积极的影响，因此受到他们的重视。我们可以是贫穷、生病的人，却依然因为我们的故事、欢呼和智慧而受到尊重。以有益的方式分享我们自己的经验，让别人对他们正在经历的事情感觉更好。
当你给别人的生活带来价值的时候，你在自己的“部落”里自然会感到更安全。你的“地位”显得更稳固，所以你会觉得不需要购买任何物品来提升它。
(1) 照片墙：Instagram，一款社交应用软件。
(2) Tim Kasser, “Materialist Values and Goals,” Annual Review of Psychology, 67 (2016), 489–514.
(3) Cited in“Advertising’s Toxic Effect on Eating and Body Image,” Harvard School of Public Health, hsph.harvard.edu/news/features/advertisings-toxic-effect-on-eating-and-body-image.
(4) Monika A. Bauer, James E. B. Wilkie, Jung K. Kim, and Galen V. Bodenhausen, “Cuing Consumerism: Situational Materialism Undermines Personal and Social Well- Being,” Psychological Sciences, 23: 5 (2012), 517–24.
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(8) University of Michigan,“Empathy: College students don’t have as much as they used to,study finds,” ScienceDaily, 29 May 2010.
(9) Centers for Disease Control and Prevention figures, 2017.
(10) Meet the Natives, Channel 4, UK, first broadcast 27 September 2007.
(11) 《全裸生活》（Life Stripped Bare）, Channel 4, UK, first broadcast 5 July 2016.
(12) Natasha Lekes, Nora H. Hope, Lucie Gouveia, Richard Koestner, and Frederick L. Philippe,“Influencing value priorities and increasing well- being: The effects of reflecting on intrinsic values,” Journal of Positive Psychology, 7: 3 (2012), 249–61.
(13) Roy Sheldon and Egmont Arens, Consumer Engineering: A New Technique for Prosperity(Harper & Bros., 1932), 65.
(14) Bernard London,“Ending the Depression through Planned Obsolescence” (1932), 5, catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/006829435.
(15) 《灯泡阴谋》（The Light Bulb Conspiracy）, Cosima Dannoritzer and Steve Michelson.
(16) 译注：原文stripping有脱衣舞之意。
(17) (directors), RTVE, Televisión Española, 2010.
(18) Scoping report, Environmental Resources Management Limited, February 2011.
(19) which.co.uk/news/2015/06/are-washing-machines-built-to-fail-406177.
(20) CNET：美国CNET Networks国际媒体旗下科技资讯网站。
(21) Reddit：美国一家社交新闻网站。
(22) Kickstarter：美国一家众筹网站平台。
(23) 公平手机（Fairphone）：由荷兰一家公司制造，正如它的名字所表明的，这家公司生产的手机希望实现全球手机供应链的公平贸易，具体而言，就是不使用“稀缺资源”并且确保生产手机的工人没有被奴役和压榨。
(24) Meetup：一家供用户在线安排会议、举行活动的网络平台。
(25) which.co.uk.
(26) change.org：美国一家公益请愿网站。
(27) Brook Lyndhurst, Defra Research Project DE01- 022: “Public understanding of product lifetimes and durability,” 26 March 2010.
(28) Tim Cooper,“Inadequate Life? Evidence of Consumer Attitudes to Product Obsolescence,”Journal of Consumer Policy, 27 (2004), 421– 49.
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(30) Ibid.
(31) iPod：苹果公司音乐播放器。
(32) C. Cole, T. Cooper, and A. Gnanapragasam, “Extending Product Lifetimes Through WEEE Reuse and Repair: Opportunities and Challenges in the UK,” Electronic Goes Green 2016+,Nottingham Trent University, Nottingham, 2016.
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(34) Cole, Cooper, and Gnanapragasam, op. cit.
(35) What to Buy and Why, 7 Wonder Productions, UK, first broadcast BBC, January–February 2016.
(36) J. F. McCullough,“Design Review-Cars ’59,” Industrial Design, February 1959, 79.
(37) Donald A. Norman, The Design of Everyday Things (Basic Books, 1988; revised edition MIT Press, 2013),
(38) Pinterest：美国一家图片浏览网站。
(39) “Brooks Stevens Biography,” Milwaukee Art Museum, 2017, mam.org/collection/archives/brooks/bio.php.
(40) nielsen/content/dam/nielsenglobal/jp/docs/report/2014/Nielsen_Advertising_and_%20 Audiences%20Report-FINAL.pdf.
(41) Ibid.
(42) Cited in Sheree Johnson,“New Research Sheds Light on Daily Ad Exposures,” SJ Insights,29 August 2014, sjinsights/2014/09/29/new-research-sheds-light-on-daily-ad-exposures.
(43) “Kevin the Hamster,” Levi’s Original ad, first broadcast August 1998.
(44) Cited in Luke Brynley- Jones, “Can online customer service deliver a higher ROI than marketing?” Our Social Times: Social Media for Business, 2016, oursocialtimes/cancustomer-service-deliver-a-higher-roi-than-marketing.
(45) 克拉彭（Clapham）：英国伦敦西南部的一个地区。
(46) medium/on-advertising/why-we-just-replaced-68-tube-adverts-with-catpictures-9ed1ae1177d0.
(47) “Fifteen Million Merits,” Black Mirror, Zeppotron for Channel 4, UK, first broadcast 11 December 2011.
(48) Rance Crain, “Viewpoint: Who knows what ads lurk in the hearts of consumers? The inner mind knows,” Ad Age, 9 June 1997, adage/article/special-report-magazines-the-alist/viewpoint-ads-lurk-hearts-consumers-mind/71786/.
(49) Matthew J. Baker and Lisa M. George,“The Role of Television in Household Debt: Evidence from the 1950s,” The B.E. Journal of Economic Analysis & Policy, 10: 1 (Advances), Article 41(2010); Stuart Fraser and David Paton, “Does Advertising Increase Labour Supply? Time series evidence from the UK,” Journal of Applied Economics, 35 (2003), 1357–68; L. Golden, “A Brief History of Long Work Time and the Contemporary Sources of Overwork,” Journal of Business Ethics, 84 (2009), 217–27.
(50) theguardian/lifeandstyle/2011/feb/08/parents-and-parenting-disney-channel.
(51) Juliet B. Schor, Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture(Scribner, 2004), 21.
(52) J. McNeal and C. Yeh, “Born to Shop,” American Demographics, June (1993), 34–9.
(53) D. Hood,“Is Advertising to Kids Wrong? Marketers Respond,” Kidscreen, 15 November 2000.
(54) Brian L. Wilcox et al., Report of the APA Task Force on Advertising and Children, American Psychological Association, 20 February 2004, apa.org/pi/families/resources/advertisingchildren.pdf.
(55) Raymond W. Preiss, ed., Mass Media Effects Research: Advances Through Meta-Analysis(Routledge, 2013).
(56) J. L. Weicha, K. E. Peterson, D. S. Ludwig, et al., “When Children Eat What They Watch:Impact of Television Viewing on Dietary Intake in Youth,” Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, 60 (2006), 436–42.
(57) Marvin E. Goldberg and Gerald J. Gorn,“Some Unintended Consequences of TV Advertising to Children,” Journal of Consumer Research, 5: 1 (1978), 22–9.
(58) Cai and Zhao, 2010, cited in “Advertising to Children and Teens: Current Practices,”Common Sense Media, spring 2014, commonsensemedia.org/file/csm-advertisingresearchbrief-20141pdf/download.
(59) http://commercialfreechildhood.org/sites/default/files/babies.pdf.
(60) marketinglaw.osborneclarke/retailing/colgates-80-of-dentists-recommend-claimunder-fire.
(61) Bain & Company, Diamond Industry Report for Antwerp World Diamond Centre (AWDC), 2011.
(62) Haribo, Just Too Good, Quiet Storm, 27 January 2012.
(63) Niels Van de Ven Marcel Zeelenberg and Rik Pieters, “The Envy Premium in Product Evaluation,” Journal of Consumer Research, 37: 6, 1 April 2011, 984–98, doi.org/10:1086/657239.
(64) bgr/2015/06/17/samsung-advertising-fails-iphone.
(65) YouTube：美国的一家视频网站。
(66) Tatiana Pilieva, First Kiss, 10 March 2014, youtube/watch?v=IpbDHxCV29A.
(67) Christie Barakat, “What Brands Can Learn from Wren’s ‘First Kiss,’ ”Adweek, 14 March 2014, adweek/digital/brands-viral-video-wren-first-kiss.
(68) Anne E. Becker et al., “Eating behaviors and attitudes following prolonged exposure to television among ethnic Fijian adolescent girls,” British Journal of Psychiatry, 180: 6(2002),509–14.
(69) Marisabel Romero and Adam W. Craig,“Costly Curves: How Human- Like Shapes Can Increase Spending,” Journal of Consumer Research, 44: 1 (2017), 80–98.
(70) adespresso/academy/blog/use-fomo-marketing-social-media.
(71) linkedin/pulse/secret-science-fomo-marketing-advertising-joseph-j-sanchez.
(72) jwt/blog/consumer_insights/got-social-media-fomo.
(73) Thales S. Teixeira, “The Rising Cost of Consumer Attention: Why You Should Care, and What You Can Do about It,” Harvard Business School Working Paper No. 14- 055, January 2014, 6.
(74) 乔的螃蟹屋餐厅（Joe’s Crab Shack）：美国一家海滩主题海鲜休闲连锁餐厅。
(75) Cited in Stacy Conradt,“The stories behind 10 famous product placements,” The Week, 11 December 2012, theweek/articles/469629/stories-behind-10-famous-product-placements.
(76) TBrandStudio, “How Our Energy Needs Are Changing, in a Series of Interactive Charts,”The New York Times, 2017, paidpost.nytimes/chevron/a-complex-flow-of-energy.html?_r=0#.WYN344X_QqZ.
(77) coty/news/daisy-marc-jacobs-tweetshop-grabs-attention- industry, 8 May 2014.
(78) Feed广告：在发布的消息之间插入的一种广告形式。
(79) J. Eighmey and S. Sar, “Harlow Gale and the Origins of the Psychology of Advertising,”Journal of Advertising, 36: 4(2007), 147–58.
(80) “Consumer Neuroscience: Capture a more comprehensive view of the non- conscious aspects of consumer decision- making with the most complete set of neuroscience tools at a global scale,” nielsen/uk/en/solutions/measurement/consumer-neuroscience.html.
(81) Cited in Juliet Schor, Plenitude: The New Economics of True Wealth (Penguin, 2010).
(82) Christ Celetti, “The Present and Future of Men’s Fashion,” Ogilvy, 18 February 2016,ogilvy/news- views/the- present-and-future-of-mens-fashion.
(83) Carvelas：英国一家奢华鞋类品牌。
(84) Nigel Whiteley, Design for Society (Reaktion Books, 1993).
(85) D. Wilson et al.,“Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind,” Science, 345: 6192(2014), 75–7.
(86) Mary Quant, Quant on Quant (Cassell, 1966; V&A Publishing, 2012), 74.
(87) Maya Oppenheim, “YouTube star Zoella reportedly earns at least £50,000 a month according to newly released accounts,” Independent, 13 March 2016, independent.co.uk/news/people/zoella-youtube-earnings-50000-sunday-times-alfie-deyes-a6928666.html.
(88) Primark：爱尔兰的一家廉价服装品牌。
(89) youtube/watch?v=tOafTz1RgXA.
(90) greenpeace.org/international/Global/international/briefings/toxics/2016/Fact-Sheet-Timeout-for-fast-fashion.pdf.
(91) Sweatshop: Deadly Fashion, Aftenposten, Norway, first broadcast April 2014.
(92) Carbon Trust (2011).
(93) 加仑：英美制容量单位，英制1加仑=4.546升，美制1加仑=3.785升。
(94) Caitlin Moran, How to Be a Woman (Ebury Press, 2012), 211.
(95) Karen J. Pine, Mind What You Wear: The Psychology of Fashion (Amazon Media, 2014), 65 and 115.
(96) Ibid, 365.
(97) theatlantic/technology/archive/2012/04/the-100-year-march-of-technology-in-1-graph/255573.
(98) “Latest trend sweeping China: Lighter skin,” CBS News, 14 October 2012, cbsnews/news/latest- trend- sweeping-china-lighter-skin.
(99) Karli K. Watson, “Visual Preferences for Sex and Status in Female Rhesus Macaques,”Journal of Animal Cognition, 15: 3 (2012), 401– 407.
(100) Cited in Geoffrey Miller, Must- Have: The Hidden Instincts Behind Everything We Buy(Vintage, 2010), 13.
(101) Ibid, 83.
(102) Abercrombie & Fitch：美国一家休闲时装品牌。
(103) Quoted in “Bonfire of fashion’s vanities,” Evening Standard, 1 February 2010, standard.co.uk/lifestyle/bonfire- of- fashions-vanities-6743489.html.
(104) theguardian/uk/2004/jun/09/britishidentity/features11.