escaping from its hairnet, a clanking string shopping bag was swinging from her wrist
and her feet were halfway out of her tartan carpet slippers. Harry made to stow his wand
hurriedly out of sight, but -
'Don't put it away idiot boy!' she shrieked. 'What if there are more of them around? Oh,
I'm going to kill Mundungus Fletcher!'
— CHAPTER TWO
A Peck of Owls
'What?' said Harry blankly.
'He left!' said Mrs Figg, wringing her hands. 'Left to see someone about a batch of
cauldrons that fell off the back of a broom! I told him I'd flay him alive if he went, and
now look! Dementors! It's just lucky I put Mr Tibbies on the case! But we haven't got
time to stand around! Hurry, now, we've got to get you back! Oh, the trouble this is going
to cause! I will kill him!'
'But -' The revelation that his batty old cat-obsessed neighbour knew what Dementors
were was almost as big a shock to Harry as meeting two of them down the alleyway.
'You're - you're a witch?'
'I'm a Squib, as Mundungus knows full well, so how on earth was I supposed to help you
fight off Dementors? He left you completely without cover when I'd warned him -'
This Mundungus has been following me? Hang on - it was him! He Disapparated from
the front of my house!'
'Yes, yes, yes, but luckily I'd stationed Mr Tibbies under a car just in case, and Mr
Tibbies came and warned me, but by the time I got to your house you'd gone - and now -
oh, what's Dumbledore going to say? You!' she shrieked at Dudley, still supine on the
alley floor. 'Get your fat bottom off the ground, quick!'
'You know Dumbledore?' said Harry, staring at her.
'Of course I know Dumbledore, who doesn't know Dumbledore? But come on - I'll be no
help if they come back, I've never so much as Transfigured a teabag.'
She stooped down, seized one of Dudley's massive arms in her wizened hands and
tugged.
'Get up, you useless lump, get up!'
But Dudley either could not or would not move. He remained on the ground, trembling
and ashen-faced, his mouth shut very tight.
'I'll do it.' Harry took hold of Dudley's arm and heaved. With an enormous effort he
managed to hoist him to his feet. Dudley seemed to be on the point of fainting. His small
eyes were rolling in their sockets and sweat was beading his face; the moment Harry let
go of him he swayed dangerously.
'Hurry up!' said Mrs Figg hysterically.
Harry pulled one of Dudley's massive arms around his own shoulders and dragged him
towards the road, sagging slightly under the weight. Mrs Figg tottered along in front of
them, peering anxiously around the corner.
'Keep your wand out,' she told Harry, as they entered Wisteria Walk. 'Never mind the
Statute of Secrecy now, there's going to be hell to pay anyway, we might as well be
hanged for a dragon as an egg. Talk about the Reasonable Restriction of Underage
Sorcery… this was exactly what Dumbledore was afraid of - What's that at the end of the
street? Oh, it's just Mr Prentice… don't put your wand away, boy, don't 1 keep telling you