I'm no use?'
It was not easy to hold a wand steady and haul Dudley along at the same time. Harry
gave his cousin an impatient dig in the ribs, but Dudley seemed to have lost all desire for
independent movement. He was slumped on Harry's shoulder, his large feet dragging
along the ground.
'Why didn't you tell me you're a Squib, Mrs Figg?' asked Harry, panting with the effort to
keep walking. 'All those times I came round your house - why didn't you say anything?'
'Dumbledore's orders. I was to keep an eye on you but not say anything, you were too
young. I'm sorry I gave you such a miserable time, Harry, but the Dursleys would never
have let you come if they'd thought you enjoyed it. It wasn't easy, you know… but oh my
word,' she said tragically, wringing her hands once more, 'when Dumbledore hears about
this - how could Mundungus have left, he was supposed to be on duty until midnight -
where is he? How am I going to tell Dumbledore what's happened? I can't Apparate.'
'I've got an owl, you can borrow her.' Harry groaned, wondering whether his spine was
going to snap under Dudleys weight.
'Harry, you don't understand! Dumbledore will need to act as quickly as possible, the
Ministry have their own ways of detecting underage magic, they'll know already, you
mark my words.'
'But I was getting rid of Dementors, I had to use magic - they're going to be more worried
about what Dementors were doing floating around Wisteria Walk, surely?'
'Oh, my dear, I wish it were so, but I'm afraid - MUNDUNGUS FLETCHER, I AM
GOING TO KILL YOU!'
There was a loud crack and a strong smell of drink mingled with stale tobacco filled the
air as a squat, unshaven man in a tattered overcoat materialised right in front of them. He
had short, bandy legs, long straggly ginger hair and bloodshot, baggy eyes that gave him
the doleful look of a basset hound. He was also clutching a silvery bundle that Harry
recognised at once as an Invisibility Cloak.
'S'up, Figgy?' he said, staring from Mrs Figg to Harry and Dudley. 'What 'appened to
staying undercover?'
Til give you undercover]' cried Mrs Figg. 'Dementors, you useless, skiving sneak thief!'
'Dementors?' repeated Mundungus, aghast. 'Dementors, 'ere?'
'Yes, here, you worthless pile of bat droppings, here!' shrieked Mrs Figg. 'Dementors
attacking the boy on your watch!'
'Blimey,' said Mundungus weakly, looking from Mrs Figg to Harry, and back again.
'Blimey, I -'
'And you off buying stolen cauldrons! Didn't I tell you not to go? Didn't IT
'I - well, I -' Mundungus looked deeply uncomfortable. 'It — it was a very good business
opportunity, see -'
Mrs Figg raised the arm from which her string bag dangled and whacked Mundungus
around the face and neck with it; judging by the clanking noise it made it was full of cat
food.
'Ouch - gerroff - gerroff, you mad old bat! Someone's gotta tell Dumbledore!'
'Yes - they - have!' yelled Mrs Figg, swinging the bag of cat food at every bit of